Taxi stories: Drunks

In a cab in Stoke-on-Trent. The driver had been working since 6:30 AM (it was nearly 5 in the evening). He said it'd been the busiest day they'd had since Christmas.

'Any interesting customers?'

'No, no-one interesting today, except a couple of schoolkids got into a fight.'

'What, in the cab?'

'Yeah, a brother and sister, she was seven, he was eleven. I get some real characters though, especially since we started taking NHS contracts. I pick people up from AA meetings, first place they go is the off license. Then they want to drink it in the car.

I picked up one guy, he'd had four bottles of whisky, and he'd been drying out at the hospital. I picked him up in his dressing gown - no trousers. I took him home - his place was beautiful. A big farmhouse, must've cost a million quid, I reckon. He didn't have any money to pay me. Didn't have his keys either, I had to help him break in.'

'Are you sure it was really his place?'

'Well, he seemed to know the name of the cat.'

3 responses
Haha, so funny... but what were you doing in Stoke-on-Trent?
Conference. It's an interesting feature of my job that I (occasionally) need to catch cabs from the train station to schools or conference venues in places I've never been before.

What I didn't go into in the post was the fact that the other cabdriver who picked me up that day told me that Pakistan was waging undeclared war on the US in response to drone strikes, and that people in Pakistan preferred Bush to Obama 'even though we knew he was an idiot'.

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